When Feelings Suck: How to Deal With That
- Long Island Crisis Center
- May 12
- 2 min read
By Hillary Call, LMHC-D
“Meeting people where they’re at” is a big thing at LICC. What does that even mean? And why is it so hard to do that for ourselves?
When you call the hotline, you'll find a counselor who feels like they just get it. Panicked because you’re unsure what to do in a situation? Your counselor will help you figure out options. Angry at a coworker who gave you attitude and need to vent? You’ll find a very good listener at the LICC hotline and, believe me, we LOVE to be your champion in those situations! Feeling really down? You probably don't need advice at that moment - just someone to acknowledge, “Yeah, that sucks.” And probably let you know that you deserve to feel happy, too.
Not trying to change how you feel. Just being there with you, so you’re not alone in feeling it.
So, how come it’s so hard for us to do that for ourselves? To be kind when we're the ones feeling bad, or hurt, or ashamed? As a therapist, I find that hard, too. What usually helps is doing one or both of these things:
Think of someone you really care about. If they came to you and said, “Hey I’m so ashamed of xx,” what would you say to them? Would you be harsh, or would you instead be kind? Maybe compassionate?
Wouldn’t they be the same way to you?
The other great thing to do in these situations is to try a Loving-Kindness Meditation. That sounds “out there” but I promise you it’s not. It’s a neuroscience-y thing that’s really helpful in meeting you and your feelings wherever they are at that moment, and sending a ton of compassion to yourself even when that feels like the hardest thing ever.
Here’s a lovely version of the Loving-Kindness meditation from Jack Kornfield, a clinical psychologist, author, and leader in the mindfulness field. He also has a wonderful voice :)
Hillary Call, LMHC-D
