I can't because I said so

By F.T. Crisis Counselor

I learned one of my most valuable lessons from my elementary school music teacher. Whenever she asked me to play a piece or adjust my posture, I would respond the same way before even trying: I can’t. One day she turned to me, gave me that unmistakable stern teacher look, and said, “Of course you can’t. You already decided you can’t.”

That moment stayed with me. So often we walk into situations convinced we already know the outcome. It becomes a self‑fulfilling prophecy. I still wonder why we do this. Is it because we believe we know ourselves so well, or because it feels safer to expect failure without trying? You technically do not fail if you do not try. That is not a mindset that leads to success.

What I’ve learned is that the outcome isn’t the most important part; the journey is. You can fail a million times and still be a success, because every failure teaches you something new. Each attempt, even the imperfect ones, becomes part of the growth that eventually carries you forward.

If there’s one thing I hope readers take from this, it’s that we are all capable of more than we initially believe. The fears, comparisons, and assumptions that hold us back are part of being human, but they don’t have to define our direction. Each step forward, even the shaky ones, is an act of courage. Every attempt becomes part of the quiet, steady work of becoming who we’re meant to be.